Jenny Good-Vibes

I LOVE going to the sex shoppe. It makes me feel all empowered , self-determined, in charge of my sexual destiny, et cetera. I feel like I should be grinning gaily on the cover of Our Bodies, Ourselves. I was having a shitty day yesterday, so I decided to pop by. Instant mood-enhancement...

My first experience with the sex toy phenomenon was when I was in high school. I saw an Adam and Eve ad in the back of a Details magazine and curiously sent away for my free catalog. WOW! Although I had read about dildos and cockrings I had never actually SEEN them. Inflatable dolls, endless Jeff Styker and Nina Hartley videos, vibrators, and what I'll always remember was Barbara something-or-other's Eager Beaver. "Completely life-like" and molded from the porn actress's ACTUAL PUSSY. I wondered how they did that.

I first visited a sex store in college. And much like my first time having sex it was a warm, fuzzy, great experience. I walked out with a vibrator and couple boxes of condoms and a blazing sense of confidence. "I am woman, hear me fuck. "

When I moved back home...to a CITY of nearly a million people... the only sex stores were those creepy ones that had peep show booths in the back. One was downtown, the rest were off the interstate. Ugh. The shitty lingerie, the horrible bumper stickers, the giant, porno-ized dildoes. I visited 3 and at all had an impossible time finding anything. Maybe because I felt like I was going to get genital warts from handling the merchandise. All the vibes I got broke within a year. And, NO, I DON'T think it was me! I missed my my happy women's store with the incense and real leather and Candida Royalle, encouraging all to get in touch with his/her inner goddess.

So when I moved again, I went straight to the women-owned sex store. I couldn't have been happier: plush carpeting, apple-cheeked women behind the counter, a vast assortment of vibrators with cute names. "Try me!" they invited. I felt like I was most in danger of contracting a hug. I was poor, though, and just bought some lube and stockings. I tried to get my then-boyfriend to come with. Our sex life was a cold drizzle, but I did not yet hate his fat, fucking face. No dice... "too contrived". Fucking idiot.

So I happily shopped away my worries away yesterday. Now I have some fresh, new friends to defile and that happy, sex shoppe feelin'. I am woman, hear me fuck.

Good Vibrations
A Woman's Touch
The Tool Shed
Early to Bed
Toys in Babeland